His Hands And Feet

DISCLAIMER: This picture is above my bed. And above our piano in our living room in my apartment. I decided around Augest that my fall semester theme was going to include Jesus Christ somehow, someway. I went through several experiences that led me to want to know Christ better. A whole lot better. So I began to pray specifically for this occasionally, read the New Testament, think more....and BAM!!!!

Sometimes I am amazed by what I learn. Not necessarily taught by someone, but things that the Spirit just ends up making me feel and that get those mind juices flowing and I guess what I'm suppose to learn at a specific time. I'm going to share one of these mind processes that happen as I daydream, think, question and find answers... (I'm trying to be better at writing this stuff down...hope you don't mind reading).

I began thinking earlier about what will happen when I die. I know that when that time comes, I'll eventually go to meet the Savior Jesus the Christ, The Redeemer of the World and of Mankind, The Light of the World, The Anointed One and all the other countless titles He is referred too. Reverently and with the deepest respect tinged with awe--I hope to be able to walk humbly, but with confidence towards Him.

You know, what will I do then? Will I get a chance to hold His hands in mine?? To watch my tears splash His hands as I realize who He is? I wondered today what I will do when I see the holes in his hands and feet. Those scars. Those small stripes of the purest of white skin that make up a scar; will I realize that I am a part of Him? That I, Rebecca Rhoden am literally engraved into His image like Isaiah says? Physically and Spiritually! Because of the Atonement He knows me. He knows what I have felt when I have sorrowed, sinned, or been sick. Isaiah says that "with his stripes we are healed." He knows how to teach me, comfort me, and love me. I think I'm barely beginning to understand. I am a part of who He is!! On an extremely minute level, and with his stripes, there's proof that I can be healed because He knows me. What a thought!?

It will always be me who separates myself away from Him for He cannot nor ever will be able to separate Himself from me! He's bound by spiritual Law for He knows me through and through. He can never leave me. He will never forsake me. He suffered everything there is to go through both the good and the bad and has 4 visible reminders on His hands and feet. He has taken my image upon Himself and somehow already refined and added it into His perfect being.

He needs to be in my image and countenance just as much as I will always be a small part of His. When this happens will I know that I used the Atonement effectively to its fullest potential? Will I then be able to say that I have never forsaken my Savior? That I took His countenance and name upon myself? Will I be able to gradually look into His eyes and have my confidence wax strong as I remember who I am??

Dear Baylee

I've now just known you for a year, 15 months to be exact. I've met your family. Slept in your house. You've met my family. And now we share a room. I love you! And everyday I grow to love you more. Thanks for making me laugh, wiping away my tears, always listening to me, loving me more than just a best friend but as a sister, and learning how to deal with me. I don't think you realize how much I love you and how surprised that you still love me! Thanks for opening my eyes to my weaknesses and first and foremost, dealing with them. I open my mouth to much, say things I shouldn't and do all that junk that you know all to well. You are so beautiful! And will always be a special person in my life. Remember when you were Relief Society President our freshman year? And then remember how you passed the mantle to me? The other day we went through our history and came to the conclusion that our friendship was set up by Heavenly Father. I have grown so much from living with you as a best friend in 3 months then I did all summer!

I love you.

Becky

I Just Failed My First Midterm And Feel Like Death Warmed Over.

failedforthefirsttime.e.v.e.r.

Now I'm in one of those moods that come once every blue moon. I really don't feel like talking about my midterm, just typing about how bad I really do feel.

Who knew life could feel like this?

I mean, I try to keep reminding myself that, heck, I'm just going to be a mom for the majority of my life so who cares? My kids sure won't.

Is it because I know how disappointed my immediate family would be? Probably not. I'm probably just extremely irritable because of 1)lack of sleep 2)i just left 20 fill-in-the-answers blank with many other answers filled-in with funny vocabulary words i tried to think of off the top of my head and 3)i know i could have done better, should have, and that IT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN EASY

A

IF I WOULD HAVE STUDIED A TEENY-BIT-MORE.

Now I get to deal with me for the rest of the day. The self-absorbed, self-despised, no make-up, hair in a bun, pudgy around the edges, sweat shirt wearing 19 year old that I am. Not sure of what she wants. Extremely disappointed in herself.

Listening to Josh Groban's "You Are Loved--Don't Give Up" for the 100th time as it repeats, repeats,

repeats

repeats.

Rocky Mountain 2010

I love this band. It has changed my life. Rocky Mountain 2010.