A Few Sacred Minutes A Day...Keeps Life At Bay

Totally stole this from my old Seminary teacher's blog. I LOVE Sis. Holbrook. This is so very true:

"I fear that many of us rush about from day to day taking for granted the holy scriptures. We scramble to honor appointments with physicians, lawyers, and businessmen. Yet we think nothing of postponing interviews with Deity—postponing scripture study. Little wonder we develop anemic souls and lose our direction in living. How much better it would be if we planned and held sacred fifteen or twenty minutes a day for reading the scriptures. Such interviews with Deity would help us recognize his voice and enable us to receive guidance in all of our affairs.

We must look to God through the scriptures." (Elder Carlos E. Asay, “‘Look to God and Live’,” Ensign, Nov 1978, 52)

Take Up The Cross

I remember several years ago wondering what this phrase meant. I had a really great scripture study that led me to the answer and I was able find it through a good search and mark it in my scriptures and I remember understanding it. I'm learning fast the saying, "The fadest ink is stronger than the brightest memory" is true. Which explains that I had some trouble remembering what it meant--even if I remembered finding the answer--because I never wrote it down. This is from the D&C Student Manuel.

D&C 23:6. What Does It Mean to Take Up the
Cross?
“The term take up your cross is found in both ancient
and modern scripture, including at least three
references in the Doctrine and Covenants (23:6; 56:2;
112:14). In Matthew 16:24 the Savior says, ‘If any man
will come after me, let him deny himself, and take
up his cross, and follow me.’ The [Joseph Smith
Translation] of the Bible provides the meaning of
this term as given by Jesus Christ himself: ‘And now
for a man to take up his cross, is to deny himself all
ungodliness, and every worldly lust, and keep my
commandments.’ (Matt. 16:25–26.)” (Ludlow,
Companion, 2:56.)

Elder James E. Talmage wrote: “The cross to
be taken up may be heavy, perhaps to be dragged
because too burdensome to be borne. We are apt to
assume that self-denial is the sole material of our
cross; but this is true only as we regard self-denial
in its broadest sense, comprising both positive and
negative aspects. One man’s cross may consist mostly
in refraining from doings to which he is inclined,
another’s in doing what he would fain escape. One’s
besetting sin is evil indulgence; his neighbor’s a lazy
inattention to the activities required by the Gospel of
Jesus Christ, coupled perchance with puritanical rigor
in other observances.” (Vitality of Mormonism, p. 339;
see also Notes and Commentary on D&C 56:2.)

Quick thoughts: We all know that a question everyone asks at one point in life is why bad things happen to good people. Bad things do happen. They will happen. We live in an imperfect world and we're imperfect people, how can we expect a perfect life? Jesus, even told us that life would be hard. That we would have to occasionally "take up the cross". I think when things go wrong, we usually react in an "ungodly" or "natural man" sort of way. How the world would react, think, say, do. But to "deny ourselves of all ungodliness" (Moroni 10:32) is what we should remember. Everyone's way of being "ungodly" is different--from what Elder Talmage wrote. Part of returning to Heavenly Father is enduring to the end, which includes a lot. It includes denying ourselves of the weaknesses we indulge ourselves with. It's by doing what we can with what we're given. And always, always keeping our hearts and minds on the Savior. "For a man to take up his cross is to deny himself of all ungodliness, and every worldly lust, and keep my commandments". Of course, we know the help we'll receive to do those things and the reward, in itself, includes much more mercy than just satisfying the demands of justice. But God can do that, because of the Atonement and his love for us.

I Just Wasted An Hour On My Latest Interest, Pinterest.

Mom, you should probably check that out. Because of some technical difficulties/mix-ups--I created an account for you. Sorry! But I figure now that it'd be a great mommy daughter bonding website. Anyways, so you have all these Facebook friends following you and you have nothing posted on any boards. I can give you a tutorial at Christmas--no worries! I need to figure out how to set one up for myself without needing a Facebook account.

But...I feel like I"m just discovering life sometimes (thus the wasted hour). All the cool ideas to do when I have the time one day. There's just the idea of simplicity, nicety of things. I mean communication and technology have sky-rocketed so much that I could probably find any answer to any question or tutorial through a good, serious google/blog search!

Needless to say, I can't wait to be a mom. My mom. Mmm. :) Love her!

Some quick reading in our new-awesome-Relief-Society-special-blue-book and I found this gem:

"The average woman today, I believe, would do well to appraise her interests, evaluate the activities in which she is engaged, and then take steps to simplify her life, putting things of first importance first, placing emphasis where the rewards will be greatest and most enduring, and ridding herself of the less rewarding activities." -Sis. Belle S. Spafford (don't freak out if you didn't recognize her name--she was the 9nth RS general president)

Basic, right? But I really do like this quote because I've thought about how many cool things there are for me to do! That I want to do. That I could do. I'm 20 and I have a whole life a head of me. But I obviously--can't do everything. So I'll regroup the most important and live life one heat beat at a time. In the mean time...

I decided I needed a new Bucket List. A "In The Millennium To-Do List" where I can put all the 'less rewarding activiites' that would still be awesome to do but I won't have time for in this life. Ya. It's a keeper list. :)

Lover of Righteousness

I'm not sure if this in the scriptures. But i think it is. Somewhere in the New Testament where we were studying in Sunday School. Someone made the comment that they wanted to be strive to love righteousness. Even though it was a few weeks ago, the simple idea has struck a spot in my mind and stuck.

I want to love righteousness. I think I"ve already began long ago. As I get older and have more experiences I grow more attached to purity, modesty, reading your scriptures and getting something out of them everyday. I just want to be better and love all goodness. Good music, good movies. It's not about what you can't do or see or watch and you're left with just the good. No, the good has depth. The farther you go, the closer I go to living your standards the more joy and happiness I feel. It's a simplicity and talent. The good has so much depth with even more amazing things than before.

In one of my classes, we were talking about how as parents you hope and pray that as you teach them about the gospel you look to see if they're internalizing any of it. And when they do, how happy you are they got it. That they're applying it into there life. I know my parents have always known when I've lived with them that I was internalizing. But I hope my parents know that right now--as I live away from them--I, Becky-Sue-Marie-Rhoden-Future-Mrs.Right, love righteousness. That I am so grateful that they kept their covenants and were worthy enough to be sealed in the temple. That they taught me about Jesus Christ. I love him. My heart grows fonder the more I learn and study Christ's life. When I spent all summer working with youth, hoping that they would see how everything fits together, I testified that Jesus Christ lives everyday. I heard their testimonies and I grew such a deep respect. I know that I am a daughter of God. I love this Church and the principles of the Gospel. That the Gospel can be explained and understood so simply yet studied for a lifetime. The Gospel is my life. It means everything to me. I don't ever want to let it go.

The Key To The Big Is The Small

It's the second day of January and I am so excited for this new year. It just feels like its going to be a great year! This post is really for my mom, she requested I do a new years post. I'm trying to decide if it's because she wants to know what my resolutions are or if she's missing me already? (i left home 2 days ago).

I love setting goals. I'm not sure why, but I'm just a very motivated person to always have a new plan or idea and how I will accomplish it. So this year, 2011, I decided that I want to work backwards with my goal setting. Usually I go for the big and try and work out the small. But this time, I'm working on 5 things (one for each finger on my hand) that I will do every day. You know, the key to the big is the small? That's kind of the idea I'm going for. I have ideas about the outcomes, but I don't want to limit the possibilities of the fruits of my big 5. Happy New Year! I time to "Look Not Behind Thee" and move forward, a time of becoming.

Soft Cries and Hard Cries

One day, I'll get married and have a family and be able to have a normal blog like all those family blogs that I love to stalk. But for now, this is me and my very personal-all-about-me-posts....

Its true. Of all girls, I promise it's healthy when appropriate. I began having regular soft cries when I turned 18 and entered Relief Society (so stereotypical i know). They come and go on good Sundays, which happens more regularly then not. Hard cries don't occur nearly as much. N.E.A.R.L.Y. I'm pretty sure the last hard, hard cry I had was Christmas 2009. Anyways, recently I blogged about some things that I learned and then kinda forgot about it (typical human being) and now I think I know why I learned what I did because other experiences came and then the epiphany which really hit me hard, right in the square of the eyes:

Seven days ago, I did the unthinkable (in my book). I let my anger flow out. Not trickle. Flow like a river, a dam, THE NIAGRA FALLS! Over a silly issue that at the time meant a lot to me. I was so furious at myself and furious at being furious (especially at the start of the week of THANKSgving) that I thought a lot of bad thoughts about myself, said a few, and even emailed them to my mom...haha...so pitiful, i know.) I finally shed some tears. Went to bed. Woke up late past my alarm sick, missed a very important-hated-class, looked out the window and seeing the snow shed more tears.

Somehow I ended up in the office of my therapist Evan (he's actually my boss.....AND a wonderful therapist). He takes good care of his employee's and knowing my lack of/hard-cry-phobia, he sat me down and does what he always does: question.after.question.after.question???????? which is why he is such an effective teacher.

By the end of the conversation and a trip to get some chocolate (which i had/got to share with everyone) I was feeling so great! Evan somehow helps us [my fellow co-workers/evan's other employees] get into a position where the Spirit is so welcome to teach you when you're in your most raw, most broken state possible. At the very end of our conversation he always asks,

"So Beckles?? What Did You Learn?"

1. I'm what you call an avoider. I avoid questions when I want too. And I'm pretty decent at it. I do have problems, but I mask them and push them out of my mind. But when life sucks and I have a hard cry, I unmask everything and pull every little thing possible out of the drawer and hash it out on myself=very.unhealthy.hard.hard.cry=becky.loses.the.spirit.=becky.wants.to.die.bc.she.then.feels.so.lonely.

2. You make things what you want them to be. E.g. It doesn't matter if I broke the shovel and keep blaming, blaming, blaming myself....you still have a broken shovel. (This lesson learned probably doesn't make that much sense to the normal person, i'm not normal...but i completely understand what i'm trying to say).

3. There's conflict between my thoughts and my heart. I know my parents love is unconditional, but for some awful reason i let my heart believe that its only performist-based depending on how i look, act. True story, although; I still do good things for other right reasons (this particular reason is just screwed).

4. Sometimes I believe that I'll only be judged by my works alone. I forget that I'll be judged by my "intents of my heart and works" and then I may be sufficient enough for God's grace.

5. Bottom line-I have always used the Atonement for big things, but not the small. Which is what everything leads down too. I have some emnity going on, separating me from God. I wanted to take care of the small things, I feel like I need too, and I always fail at the small things. And then I push them out (see #1). And then the cycle officially has started (see #1-#5). but no more...

you cannot be moved within and stand still without

Isn't this crazy? Who knew I could learn all this from seven days ago. Seven days ago when I realized that I would get my first C ever in a class.

Primary Program....I Am His Daughter

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go and visit and watch my friend Michael give his talk at his Sacrament Primary Program. He's 4 1/2 and read his talk beautifully (right now he's at a 3rd grade reading level). He was so short, you couldn't even see his head over the podium. But I was able to fill the Spirit as He talked about how much He knows the Savior loves him.

I loved watching Michael's primary, the sweet tender faces as they sang, squirmed, and testified of the Savior:)

Some best friends interested me to this song and I am in love! I think its my theme song in life RIGHT NOW. I Am His Daughter.

11 Things On September 11

1. Last night (earlier this morning really) from 12-12:30 John guarded the flag on campus for memorial of 9 years ago.And this morning I got a call from Jim from Afghanistan<3

2. I have found a new appreciation with talking to my mom on skype. Mainly because I get to see Macey. But I also love watching her face talk:)it's so cute.

3. Started an Ultimate Frisbee tournament with the Band. Go team COSMOSITYYY!!!! Of course we won 11-9.

4. Felt the heart-strings (as a friend would say) get pulled in the temple as I
reflected on baptisms for the dead and the many who have died or lost hope because of war. Thank goodness for repentance, baptism, and resurrection!

5. Watched BYU get slaughtered by Air Force in football. Go figure, we DID play with them on September 11. Which ended up giving me a fabulous 30 minute nap.

6. Realized how humble I should always be as I thought about being an "instrument in the Lord's hands". The only way we are able to do things is because the Lord does build us up, enlighten us, and help us fill our capacity. Since when did we go to a band concert and say, "did you hear that trumpet player?". No, its the whole BAND who sounds good. The trumpet player may have talent, but he's just an instrument to bringing about something much better.

7. Realized I have more weaknesses than I personally am willing to live with and now have daily confessional with my roommate Baylee who patiently listens to every little frustration that I have and listens to how I'm going to try and overcome all these nasty things I dislike.

8. Went to HumorU and died laughing at their highlight stand-up comedy dude Stephen Jones.

9. Wouldn't life be so grand if we just got rid of grades and money? Seriously, I thought I was going to go broke after buying my groceries today. And after writing a paper at 11pm on a Saturday night, I would much rather just not worry about getting a grade, but an education.

10. Accidentally got a bit confused and went to neighboring stakes adult session of conference. Loved it though!

11. FINALLY have a router where I can lie on my bed and B.L.O.G. happy days have come once more.

p.s. 3 weeks into school and have pretty done more than i did all summer: thinking, goal-setting, accomplishing, playing, crying, etc. etc.

Sadly, I Am Very Attached to This Building.

Library commercials are always the best. The first video is a HBLL commercial that mimics The Old Spice Commercials from Super Bowls (the 2nd video). Oh, how I love BYU:)

thursday tidbits

* "you're a girl. so do you wear dora pull-ups?" spencer asked me when I was getting him into his diego pull-ups while babysitting earlier this week. he originally wanted to wear dora, but his mom told him they were only girl pull-ups.

*one of my new two-liners came from our saturday night session from stake conference last week. while watching the movie Emma with my mom, i heard the similar saying last night: "its our imperfections that make us perfect for each other". or "we can be fully aware that we are imperfect people, but that's what makes us perfect for each other." i have come to hope and realize that i want to marry someone who is different from me. very different. it'll make life all the more fun. and entertaining. and aggravating. just the way i like my life.

*i was at the eye doctor for an appointment on tuesday-minding my own business, sitting by myself-with my eyes glued in a book and this random middle-aged guy began talking to me all the way across the waiting room. everyone was eavesdropping. he told me i had pretty eyes. and then kept talking to me. all the way from the other side of the room. weird. i felt awkward.

*i just realized that one day, i'll fall in love for the last time. i'm tired of the saying "your first love." to my "last love" i hope he has great music tastes because i'm stoked to share an itunes account.