ten minutes

for ten minutes, im going to type. nate is studying tonight and i really wanted to talk to him. yes, he's one of my best friends. and yes, he got his mission call!!! hello TOULOUSE FRANCCCCEEE!!!! :) i am so excited for him. he has no idea.

my weekend has been fantastic...in so many ways! but for my future children's sake, i'll keep it to the boring and menial things i have learned recently. i love love love being relief society president. and no, its nothing i expected-and im trying not to be cocky-i promise. in a few weeks i'll be released from my calling. i know whats coming, im dreading my last meeting where the bishopbric asks what i have learned. i keep thinking, pondering, and wondering what i have learned and how i have grown. because i have in so many ways.

there are 70 girls in my relief society. i love, care, and know each one of them. i love them more than i ever realized was possible for such a diverse group. last semester i was quick to judge and justify "she's cute, but...". i feel horrible for some of the things i have thought and said. joseph smith said once that you should "hold your tongue" and "do not injure the character of anyone!". I want and need to be more kind. wouldn't it be great to be known for never saying anything negative about anyone? for everything you say about someone will only build them up?

sure the girls in my relief society are not perfect. i see them texting in church or wearing immodest cloths and i can't help but still fill love for them. at least they made it out to church i think, or im grateful they just have cloths. just seeing them smile or hearing their comments makes me feel so much LOVE. its insane! i am so astonished and amazed by the power of God. today during my welfare meeting the bishop asked to talk to me afterwords to let me know that one girl (a friend of mine, we're not close, but we're friends) can not pray in public for any meetings. i related some other news to the bishop about two girls who are agnostic. it basically broke his heart for a moment. bishop robbins just began rambling and had his head in his hands. he cares for them and loves these girls more than i do. i felt so prompted to just listen to him. my heart went out to him. how hard it must be to be a bishop. to know so much and have to be so strong. for the love that you feel that you had to pray to receive. sometimes i just wish i could help these girls make right choices, to share some of my faith or testimony with them. i went to the bathroom and said a prayer for my bishop and myself. my heart breaks, but the Lord always heals it. the power of God is so powerful. i've learned that as a leader you shouldn't be asking the question, "how can i teach so-and-so a lesson", but "how can i bring this person to Christ so he can heal them." i don't know if i'll ever be cut out to be a bishop's wife or anything, but i know i love our priesthood holders. i honor their faith, happiness, and strength in keeping confidences.

my ten minutes has been extending...but,

i said a prayer in front of a 1,000 people tonight. sister sherri dew spoke to us in commemoration of our relief society birthday on march 17th! :) it was wonderful and i was terrified! i was amazed at the peace i felt as i sang our closing song before i prayed. "true to the faith that our parents have cherished". i remember who my real parents are, and that i could be true to them. i didn't even trip over the cord at the podium! afterwords sis. dew gave me a hug and asked me to be a good girl. it was a wonderful meeting.

life is good. i love God. i love my family. and i love my friends.